5.06.2013
Laughing quietly to myself
About the advertisement played in Kroger as I shopped this morning that ended with, "Pork! Be inspired."
5.04.2013
4.30.2013
4.26.2013
Laughing quietly to myself
About how Delta was playing an instrumental version of Sweet Child O' Mine as background music on the plane as I boarded in Atlanta.
Topics covered in the front lounge last night
Coyotes chasing people on bicycles
Camel spiders so big you can hear them walking in the sand
Bears eating your steaks off the grill while you hide in the camper van
Pythons living under your house and eating all the pets in the neighborhood
Opossums crawling up the pipes and sitting in your toilet when you go to use it
Giant raccoons eating the cat food by your front door and charging you when you try to go inside
Copperheads slithering inside your car, molting their skin in the baby carseat, and then curling up underneath the driver seat
Camel spiders so big you can hear them walking in the sand
Bears eating your steaks off the grill while you hide in the camper van
Pythons living under your house and eating all the pets in the neighborhood
Opossums crawling up the pipes and sitting in your toilet when you go to use it
Giant raccoons eating the cat food by your front door and charging you when you try to go inside
Copperheads slithering inside your car, molting their skin in the baby carseat, and then curling up underneath the driver seat
4.20.2013
Four reasons I enjoy working with Southerners
"Happy as a hog in slop"
"Crazy as a three-eyed owl"
"Full as a tick"
"Tighter than a gnat's ass"
"Crazy as a three-eyed owl"
"Full as a tick"
"Tighter than a gnat's ass"
4.16.2013
Like white blood cells attacking a virus
The words below are just another reason Patton Oswalt is one of my favorites.
For the people who lost their lives, limbs, and sense of peace at the Boston Marathon yesterday, for the many Afghan wedding-goers who were also killed and wounded yesterday by a US bomb that missed its target, for the 17-year-old Nashville boy who was shot and killed while waiting for a school bus last Thursday and for everyone we don't know about.
Patton Oswalt:
Boston. Fucking horrible.
I remember, when 9/11 went down, my reaction was, "Well, I've had it with humanity."
But I was wrong. I don't know what's going to be revealed to be behind all of this mayhem. One human insect or a poisonous mass of broken sociopaths.
But here's what I DO know. If it's one person or a HUNDRED people, that number is not even a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a percent of the population on this planet. You watch the videos of the carnage and there are people running TOWARDS the destruction to help out. (Thanks FAKE Gallery founder and owner Paul Kozlowski for pointing this out to me). This is a giant planet and we're lucky to live on it but there are prices and penalties incurred for the daily miracle of existence. One of them is, every once in awhile, the wiring of a tiny sliver of the species gets snarled and they're pointed towards darkness.
But the vast majority stands against that darkness and, like white blood cells attacking a virus, they dilute and weaken and eventually wash away the evil doers and, more importantly, the damage they wreak. This is beyond religion or creed or nation. We would not be here if humanity were inherently evil. We'd have eaten ourselves alive long ago.
For the people who lost their lives, limbs, and sense of peace at the Boston Marathon yesterday, for the many Afghan wedding-goers who were also killed and wounded yesterday by a US bomb that missed its target, for the 17-year-old Nashville boy who was shot and killed while waiting for a school bus last Thursday and for everyone we don't know about.
Patton Oswalt:
Boston. Fucking horrible.
I remember, when 9/11 went down, my reaction was, "Well, I've had it with humanity."
But I was wrong. I don't know what's going to be revealed to be behind all of this mayhem. One human insect or a poisonous mass of broken sociopaths.
But here's what I DO know. If it's one person or a HUNDRED people, that number is not even a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a percent of the population on this planet. You watch the videos of the carnage and there are people running TOWARDS the destruction to help out. (Thanks FAKE Gallery founder and owner Paul Kozlowski for pointing this out to me). This is a giant planet and we're lucky to live on it but there are prices and penalties incurred for the daily miracle of existence. One of them is, every once in awhile, the wiring of a tiny sliver of the species gets snarled and they're pointed towards darkness.
But the vast majority stands against that darkness and, like white blood cells attacking a virus, they dilute and weaken and eventually wash away the evil doers and, more importantly, the damage they wreak. This is beyond religion or creed or nation. We would not be here if humanity were inherently evil. We'd have eaten ourselves alive long ago.
4.07.2013
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