BP cashier lady

Two nights ago, while putting away dishes, I broke Michael Bova's glass coffeepot. Bova came to the kitchen to make sure I wasn't sliced up by the glass he heard exploding in several directions and we decided that since we no longer had a coffeepot, we'd go into the ZenGenius office early the next morning to get hopped up on their coffee.

My next morning started an hour and a half earlier than Bova's. By the time he woke up I was laying fully clothed and wild-eyed on the sofa feeling so anxious that I was considering filtering boiling water and coffee grounds though one of my socks, regardless of the fact that the other time I tried that, over a camping stove on an Ecuadorian sidewalk, it did NOT work well.

"Good Morning," Bova said.

"Morning."

'"Oh no," Bova suddenly remembered. "Coffee!"

"I know," I said. "I made a cup of ginger tea and was like, 'What's the point of THAT?'"

"I'll pay you if you go get us coffee at BP," Bova said.

"I thought we were going in early to the office."

"But," he replied, "I have things to do first. Shower. Get dressed. Lots of things."

I sprung up off the couch, whipped down the street in the car and bought two 24-ounce cups of the darkest blend BP offers. We didn't buy a new coffeemaker yesterday so this morning I awoke to the same appalling coffee-free kitchen. This morning, though, I didn't waste time with ginger tea - TEA IS FOR NIGHTTIME OR AT THE VERY LEAST AFTER NOON - and I didn't waste time getting dressed or putting in my contacts. Me and my sweatpants and glasses drove on down to BP again and fumbled around with the 24-ounce lid and waited in line for the cashier lady to ring me up.

The man in front of me had a lot to say to the cashier lady but I didn't catch a lick of it because he was a mumbler. Whatever he was pleading, however, was not going over well with the cashier lady because she stopped and looked at him with the stoniest stare I have seen in a long time and said one word. 

"TRIPPIN."

She did not even BOTHER to say "you". She fixed him with a glare of such utter severity that he froze. I had to fight the urge to clench my teeth and whisper, without moving my lips, over his shoulder, "Dude, run."

But the moment passed. He slunk away and the cashier lady smiled at me and said to have a nice day, honey, and was an absolute doll. And I just kept thinking all the way home that that lady has got it under control. And if anyone tries to mess with me today I am going to use her one-word stare otherwise I'm just going to be really nice.