I'm so glad you're not dead

A guy at Jane's party saw the Ronckytonk shirt and thought it was a MEMORIAL FOR A CHILD WHO HAD PASSED AWAY. Someone eventually told him it was my photo and when we met later in the kitchen, he greeted me, "I'm so glad you're not dead!"

Yeah, me too...what?

The next day, a shirt was draped over a chair in the living room and Jamie, without paying attention, sat squarely on top of it. I squirmed around for a minute, until I had to say something:

"You're sitting on my face and that makes me feel weird."

He pulled the shirt out from under him and we all looked at it. The wrinkle in the fabric made my face look not only awkward but now a little deformed, too, with one eye bulging and mouth gaping.

Someone said, "Damn, you LOOKED like that."


And that's when we really couldn't stop laughing.