my laudromat kicks ass

You know your laudromat is incredible when you're glad that THIS time not everyone and their neck tattoos is smoking and drinking and talking about the big news of the day, that someone shit on the floor earlier.

Mind you, I left that day without folding my clothes due to fear of shitspecks so I didn't find out if the dump was on the bathroom floor or right out there between Maxi-Loads. I HAVE MY SUSPICIONS.

I told Sunny that my laundromat keeps me real.

"Yeah," she said, "Real dirty."

I know who owns it because she told me to "get off her table" when I was sitting there talking on the phone. I jumped off, glanced at the steel beams bolting it into the floor to see if there was any real chance that I'd have broken it (no), and went out to the parking lot to carry on my business. Which is just as well, I do good work out there. If we are friends or associates, I've almost certainly called you from the parking lot.

Today I did some tour managing, wedding planning, gave some friend advice, and found out that I know someone who knows someone who lives in Cedar City and the next time I'm stranded in Southern Utah, I'm calling Omar.

The owner, who may or may not hate me for sitting on her table, is far more chummy with her other patrons, the patrons who bear a much higher likelihood of accidentally pouring MGD down the detergent drain than I. What the?

I'm a little afraid of her. When I absentmindedly walked into an area that she'd just mopped and sort of subtly blocked off with a leaning broom, I freaked internally. I turned on my heel and got out as quickly as possible without drawing attention to myself. Like, what? I always speedwalk real casually like that.

She may be warming up, though. She hasn't questioned me on my intentions at the quarter machine lately, though if she does again I'm not saying I'm getting change for laundry, I'm saying that I'm starting a drinking game and she's welcome to join in. And even though she didn't make eye contact, she did call me "honey" before barking that I dropped my sock on the ground.

It's happening, I can feel it. I will win her over.