laughing quietly to myself

About the email Kelly sent me two weeks ago, right before I saw her for the first time in several years:

"Can't wait to see you! Should I be expecting any surprises visually? i.e. third tri-mester baby bump, face and/or neck tattoos? Wooden leg? Large hump on your back causing you to bend over severely? Malformations of the hair (mullet perm)?

I just want to be prepared and do what I can to avoid saying "Hi!" followed by a clearly shocked/nervous swallow. I will love you though, no matter what. You know that right?

Good. I look the same, except MUCH hotter. ;)"